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6 Powerful Mindset Shifts

By Leo Babauta

Having worked closely with dozens of people’s transformative journeys, I’ve come to recognize a handful of mindset shifts that make an incredible impact.

Those who’ve worked to shift in these ways have remarkable transformations.

I’m going to share them here with you in hopes that they might inspire your own transformation. If you take these on fully, they could be life-changing. This isn’t all there is, but these are a huge, huge foundation.

  1. I am enough. You can notice the opposite of this when you’re afraid you’ll be judged, afraid you’ll fail, afraid you’re unworthy of respect or admiration. When you’re caught up in what other people are thinking, or blaming them for making you feel not enough. When you’re overwhelmed and think you can’t do everything. What if you were always enough, no matter what you do or don’t do? What if you didn’t have to worry about being good enough anymore? What if this were your base assumption? Then everything else where you worry about this becomes so much easier.
  2. I let myself feel my emotions. Most people don’t want to feel sad. Or feel fear, frustration, anger, grief. We avoid these emotions because we feel there’s something wrong with feeling them. Most of our lives are actually spent trying to avoid the emotions, distracting and avoiding and denying. What if we just allowed ourselves to feel sad? Or afraid? Or angry? Going through these emotions is not that difficult, if a bit unpleasant. But these emotions can also be beautiful, places of learning and wisdom, and much more, if we open to the experience. Then they pass, and we don’t have to spend so much energy resisting and suppressing. We become more relaxed around these emotions. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions.
  3. I love myself when I feel stuff. When you feel emotions, if you’re like most people, you’ll not only resist … but make yourself feel bad for feeling them. I won’t go into much effort to explain this, but ask that you trust me. If you simply noticed that you’re feeling the emotion (let’s say frustration or sadness) and gave yourself some love, some breath, some space … it would be an entirely different experience. You would not make a big deal about having the emotion, but would simply give yourself some love. It’s a game changer.
  4. I’m not stuck in right vs. wrong. It’s incredible how often we make ourselves wrong — I shouldn’t have done that, I suck for not doing this, I should feel ashamed for how I am. And we do the same thing to other people — they suck for doing this or not doing that. We stress out trying to do things right. What if we got out of that game of right and wrong? Play a whole different game, that isn’t constrained by this mental framework. It would be free of shoulds and shame, and free to play, invent, explore, create art, have a joyful ruckus of a time.
  5. I trust myself. What would life be like if you trusted yourself? Most of us are caught up in worry and anxiety because we don’t trust ourselves. What else is possible if you started to trust yourself? A life of greater ease and playfulness, for example. This is an incredible way to live.
  6. I choose my life. We often do things because we feel we should, or have to. Out of a sense of obligation, or not having any choice. What a life! It’s a life of victimhood and burden. Most people don’t even notice when they feel this way, because it’s so ingrained. When you shift to a mindset of choosing your life … it’s powerful. You feel empowered and enlivened.

How do you work with these? I would love to work with you as a coach, because it’s often impossible to do this work without support. We just can’t see what we can’t see. That said, here are some keys to working with these mindset shifts.

First, notice when you have the opposite mindset. Notice when you’re stuck in the old mindset, as often as possible. Notice the impact of the old mindset — what effect is it having on you, on other, on your life? Have grace for yourself, and love, when you notice. Breathe.

Second, practice the new mindset. What if the new mindset were absolutely true? Empower it. Be it.

Third, when you get trapped in the old mindset — you’ll revert to it often — get support. From a coach, from a therapist, from a meditation teacher, from someone outside of yourself. Someone who can help you see it, help you bring love to it, help you practice outside of it.

And then keep practicing! This takes a lot of practice, a lot of messing up the practice, a lot of getting yourself back into it. It’s all a part of the practice. It’s not easy work, but I promise, it’s transformative.

The post 6 Powerful Mindset Shifts appeared first on zen habits.

Lessons from the Fearless Retreat

I’m creating a new Fearless Retreat in October that will be a part of my Fearless Mastery program … and it has me reflecting on the most recent retreat I led in Costa Rica in March.

I’m moved to share with you the lessons I learned from the March retreat, because I was so inspired by the transformation that people went through …

Here are some of the lessons I took away from the Fearless Retreat on March:

  • Just coming to the retreat fills people with uncertainty. Everyone who came was excited, but nervous, and fears about themselves in this retreat came forward. They found themselves confronted by the fear, and then running to their go-to patterns of busyness, wanting to exit, avoidance, perfectionism, distraction and more. This was perfect, because it uncovered exactly what we needed to work with.
  • People can create a deep trust really quickly. When people showed up, they didn’t know what to expect, and you could feel the nervousness. But very quickly, they opened up and trusted, and once they could trust, transformation became possible. It was amazing.
  • People are fascinated by their own patterns in the midst of uncertainty. Everyone was invited to investigate what kinds of patterns came up for them in the uncertainty of the retreat … and they were fascinated by what they found! People pleasing, needing to do everything right, avoidance, hiding, not standing for their boundaries, and much more.
  • Everyone went through something powerful. There wasn’t a person there who didn’t go through a process of transformation. People learned to find their center, find their power, find their courage, find openness. People learned to feel their heart for the first time in years, and stay open in the midst of stress and chaos. They found a larger version of themselves than they believed possible.
  • Everyone left changed — including me. Every person left a different person — more open, more excited about purpose, more connected to their hearts. And that included me. I left with my heart cracked wide open, and with a deeper level of trust in myself and people’s processes.
  • Inspiring, unexpected connections were formed. People went there not really knowing what to expect, and they found connections with each other that were rich and nourishing. Lifelong friendships were started, and people felt supported for the first time in a long while. So beautiful!
  • The community that gets created is so needed. Eating together, dancing together, playing together, having deep conversations. People felt like they belonged to a community, and that’s not something everyone gets in their lives. A feeling of trust, safety, belonging. It’s what the world needs.

It was powerful, for me and for my team, not just the people who came to join us.

So with that in mind, we decided to create a Fearless Retreat in October as part of our Fearless Mastery small group coaching program, because we think it’s that important.

I’d love to have you join us. Apply for Fearless Mastery today to have a convo about the 5-month coaching program that’s aimed at transformation.

And included in the price will be a seat at the Fearless Retreat in October, where you’ll come together with us in person and experience something really powerful.

Let’s talk — apply today!

p.s. If you’d like to hear from some of the people who went through the retreat, check out these videos.

The post Lessons from the Fearless Retreat appeared first on zen habits.

Be All In: Unlock Your Full Power

By Leo Babauta

One of the things that really humbled me in recent years is the realization that I am often only halfway in on anything I do. I’m rarely ever really all in.

For example, I might join a coaching program with the idea of trying it out, but not really sure if I can do it. Then when things start to get hard or overwhelming … I might be looking for the exit door, or hiding so I don’t have to be embarrassed. This is being halfway in, with an eye on the exit.

Another example: I commit to meditating every day. Then when I’m meditating, instead of being fully in the meditation, maybe I’m waiting for it to be over, or giving myself reasons I should end early. Then two days into it, maybe I really don’t feel like it, so I skip it. Then I find reasons to keep skipping it. This is even less than halfway in.

Most of us do this in just about everything we do. And it has a really corrosive effect on whatever we’re taking on.

Does it have to be this way? Let’s take a look at what it looks like to be all in, and why we rarely do that. And then look at how it can create something powerful in your life.

What It’s Like to Be All In

Some of us have an experience of being all in, somewhere in our lives. Some places that might be true for you:

  • Your kids – you’re not about to abandon them when they’re not behaving the way you’d like.
  • Your marriage – a subset of people are fully committed, and will do what it takes to work it out even when there are really big problems. There are others who have one eye on the exit door, ready to bolt when there are problems. Which are you?
  • Best friend – maybe you have a bestie who you are fully committed to, who you’ll be there for no matter what, who you will never abandon even when they are lashing out and not being ideal.

If you can relate to one of these — like having kids — then imagine what it would be like to have that kind of all-in commitment to whatever you do.

Imagine working on a creative project and having no question that you’re going to complete it. Even when things get hard, you’re working with the difficulties. Even when you feel like giving up, you don’t give yourself the option. Even when you miss a few days, you come back without any questions. Even if you die with it incomplete … you will die knowing you gave it your all.

Your heart is fully in it. Doubts might come up, but those are expected.

This is full devotion.

Why We Avoid That

We rarely let ourselves be all in, fully devoted … because it’s hard and scary.

We don’t think we can do it. We don’t think we’re strong enough. We have lots of evidence that we will screw it up, based on past experience. We don’t trust ourselves.

We don’t trust the other person. We fear what they really think of us, we think they’ll abandon or hurt us, or let us down. Yet again.

We don’t think we can work out the hard problems. They feel intractable, overwhelming, too complex, to out of our control. We hate not having full control.

It’s easier to run. But it leaves our full heart, our full power, on the table.

The Power Created by Being All In

What you’ll find if you’re all in:

  • Deeper commitment creates deeper trust.
  • The greatest results you are capable of.
  • Transformation — you’ll be able to shift some of those things you think you can’t do or be or have.
  • A deeper relationship, with more trust.
  • A deeper relationship with yourself, with more trust.
  • A realization that you didn’t need the exit door.
  • A deeper devotion to whatever you care about.

Imagine that instead of heading for the exit door, you’re committed to working things out the best you can. (Not that you should stay in an abusive relationship or anything that’s harmful to you.) When you want to run, you stand and find something deeper within you.

What would that do for the projects that are most meaningful to you? For the relationships you care about most? How would you show up differently for your purpose in life?

What would have to shift? What would you have to let go of? What could be created from this place?

How to Practice

This is not another set of expectations and shoulds to judge yourself by. This is about practicing deepening.

Here’s how you might practice:

  1. Notice the places where you’re looking to get out, to exit. Where are you only half committed?
  2. Notice how this impacts your life, the people you’re in relationship with, and what you care about.
  3. Notice the fears that stop you from being all in, that keep you looking for the exit. Can you be with these fears, as sensation in the body?
  4. Notice what you want to do from those fears — run, hide, eject someone from your life, make them feel bad, justify why you should quit, etc etc. Can you hold these with love, as something sacred you’ve created to protect yourself?
  5. When the fears show up, try to catch yourself. Notice what you want to do, and recognize that this is just a safety mechanism. Breathe. Be with the fear. Give yourself love.
  6. Continue to love yourself, the other person. The more breath, presence and love, the more spaciousness you’ll find.
  7. Then see what else might be created, if you don’t run for safety. From love.

This isn’t easy practice. I highly recommend you get some support. This is why I’ve created my Fearless Mastery small group coaching program — apply today and let’s talk!

The post Be All In: Unlock Your Full Power appeared first on zen habits.

Turn Struggle into Creativity

By Leo Babauta

Most people think that if they’re struggling, that means something is wrong. If you’re struggling to write, to meditate, to eat healthily, to be focused and productive … or struggling in a relationship or job … that means something is wrong with you, or you need to change your circumstances, or this just isn’t right for you.

If we think something is wrong with the struggle, we will usually try to fix it, get out of the struggle, change ourselves … so we don’t have to have this problem anymore.

I’d like to propose a different view: that struggle is the place of growth, learning, curiosity, love, creativity. Struggle is an incredible opportunity for being creative.

Let’s take a couple examples so you can see what I mean, then let’s talk about how to work with this.

Struggle in Writing

Let’s say I’m trying to write a book or a blog post … and I feel frozen by the unknown of it all. What to write about, how to approach the topic, how to be original or valuable, how to avoid people judging me.

So I’m frozen up and don’t know what to write. My instinct might be to avoid this struggle and do something else easier, like answer emails, take care of urgent tasks, check social media. But what would it be like to stay in this struggle?

Instead of avoiding the writing … I could commit myself to staying here. Staring at the blank screen, and letting myself sit with the discomfort that I’m feeling. Let myself sit with the unknown, and feel what it feels like. Get comfortable with this unknown, with the struggle.

After sitting for a few minutes, I might start to settle in and relax with the struggle. The unknown isn’t so scary. I can breathe deeper, and find the beauty in this moment of unknown.

From this place, I might find some creativity. OK, I don’t know what to write … but could I try something silly? Write about a superhero penguin, or an accountant that can shoot rainbows out of his belly button. Maybe I could write about not knowing what to write about, and sing a song as I write (“Oh I wish I knew what to wriiiiite!”).

The specifics of what I try here don’t matter. What matters is I can just try something. Maybe I make a list. Maybe I dance around until something comes up. Maybe I meditate and become one with the universe, and then the universe channels and answer through me. Maybe I trust whatever my heart says. I don’t know — but that’s the place of discovery, in the “I don’t know”.

Struggle in Habits

Let’s say I wanted to practice yoga every morning for 30 minutes. I commit myself, I set a reminder, I feel excited about it! I might even do it for a few days. Then one day when it’s time to do my yoga … now I don’t feel like it, and check my messages instead. This happens for a few days, where I avoid it and feel bad about myself.

Normally, we might just give up, and tell ourselves it wasn’t worth it. Or be harsh with ourselves about the failure. But what else could be found in this struggle?

Imagine that I could pause for a few minutes and feel the struggle. Let myself feel how I am disappointed in myself and discouraged. What if I could bring curiosity into this place, and maybe even compassion and love? What if the real yoga is in this place, where I feel lost and want to beat myself up or give up?

If I stay in this space of the unknown for a little bit, I can find something new. This is where real learning, real growth, real transformation takes place. I might be able to get creative and try something new, if I stay here for a little longer.

We mostly want to get out of this place, because it’s uncomfortable. But maybe staying is exactly the spot where I could grow beyond my current reality.

How to Practice Creativity in Struggle

As you can see, this requires a growth mindset — a mindset that the struggle isn’t the end, but the place of learning and creativity.

So when struggle shows up, here’s how I might practice:

  1. Notice that I’m struggling, and that I want to get out of it in some way.
  2. Invite myself to stay here, in the struggle, rather than needing to avoid it or fix it.
  3. Breathe. Let myself get present, and find a little bit of spaciousness.
  4. Bring curiosity — what can I discover here in the unknown of this struggle?
  5. Invite creativity — what else might I try, other than what I already know how to do?

I invite you to practice this, and see what you can discover. You might find that there’s more depth to this space of the unknown than you imagined.

The post Turn Struggle into Creativity appeared first on zen habits.

Beyond Getting Stuff Done

By Leo Babauta

I’ve noticed that so many of us are incredibly focused on getting stuff done. Productivity systems and tools, anxiety about being behind on all the things we have to do, a complete focus on all the stuff to do, at the exclusion of all else …

But here’s the thing: if you ever get really really good at executing and getting stuff done … you realize that it’s an empty, meaningless game. I’m a testimony to that — I’m very good at getting things done. And I can absolutely crush my task list for months on end. And at the end of all of that, I still don’t feel much more satisfied.

There’s some satisfaction in getting a bunch of things done, but that’s not what really drives us. What drives us is fear — fear of what will happen if we fall too far behind, if we drop all the balls we have in the air, if we can’t get a sense of self-worth through accomplishment. Our fear is really about what it will mean about ourselves if we don’t get stuff done.

That fear never goes away, no matter how much you get done. It’s like a sex addict who has a ton of sex, and still doesn’t feel fulfilled, and has to go get more. We’re addicts who are never fulfilled.

What would happen if we decided not to play that game? If we could set aside for a moment the fears that drive us, the hope that we’ll ever finish everything, the hope that we’ll somehow get a feeling of being good enough if we are good at getting things done?

What’s beyond all of that?

I don’t know the answer, but here’s what I’m finding:

  • First, that the moment is perfect, and getting stuff done is not required in order to achieve peace, freedom, happiness, play, joy, curiosity, connection, love, or anything else I truly desire. I can sit right here and be present with the wonder of the present moment.
  • Second, even though nothing else is needed … there’s stuff I want to create! I want to make a podcast, for example — and that’s my motivation for getting my butt in gear. Not to get stuff done, not to keep all the balls in the air, not to keep my head above water … but to create what I’m committed to creating in the world.
  • Third, I can play any game I want to play. I could play the game of checking things off my task list endlessly, but that’s not very fun after awhile. Instead, I can make up other games — what about getting on calls with people and discovering their life’s purpose together? Or finding out what their heart wants most? Or bringing love to whatever is getting in the way of that? Or maybe I could discover a new game today that I’d like to play.
  • Fourth, my heart wants to express itself in many ways. It’s expressing itself with this article right now, but it might want to express itself through a podcast, through a call with a coaching client, or by go outside and enjoying movement in nature. This is so much more satisfying than the game of getting stuff done.
  • Fifth, I’m finding sacredness in each day. In the work that I’m doing, and in not doing anything. In conversations with people, and in conversations with nature. In my heart’s expression of love, and in the fears and struggle I face. This is so much richer than just focusing on getting stuff done. And I’m finding the sacredness in getting stuff done that matters to me.

Those are a few observations I’ve found in the space beyond getting stuff done. What might you find there?

The post Beyond Getting Stuff Done appeared first on zen habits.

Creating When You Feel Resistance

By Leo Babauta

I’ve noticed that most of us let ourselves be driven by our resistance to something difficult, scary, unknown.

We take on a hard task — creating something, for example — and then we feel some kind of resistance. Or maybe it feels like overwhelm. It’s simply uncertainty, and fear of the unknown.

This is quite normal, to feel uncertainty, fear, resistance, overwhelm. Then we let it drive our actions, letting the fear be in the drivers seat. That’s pretty normal too, and very understandable.

What would it be like if we didn’t need ot let this resistance drive us?

What if we could let ourselves stay in the uncertainty, feel the resistance … and then transform it into creativity and action?

Let’s take a look at the two parts of that.

Stay in the Resistance

So the first thing is you have to set aside some space for whatever you’re resisting. Warning: this step can be a doozy. We somehow always find ourselves too busy to make time for the thing we’re resisting. We’re so busy! We don’t have time for that scary thing! Funny how that works.

So if you notice that you never have time for it … make the time. Set aside some time. Maybe 15 minutes in the morning, maybe 30. Cut out some Netflix, Youtube, or social media time, and make time for this. Put it on the calendar, and commit yourself fully.

OK, let’s say you do that … now you find yourself in that block of time, and all of a sudden, everything else seems so much more urgent! Your emails are suddenly irresistible. Your kitchen magically needs some cleaning.

Stay here, don’t abandon the task. Your resistance wants to drive you away, but you’re going to try something different. An act of leadership rather than letting life happen to you.

Sit still for a minute. Let yourself feel the resistance. Not the thoughts about how you can’t do this, or how you should do it later … but the sensation of resistance in your body. The sensation of overwhelm and fear and uncertainty. It’s simply a sensation, an experience.

Be with it. If it feels like more than you can handle, stay a few moments longer. It’s a training, to be able to stay mindfully present with the feeling of resistance.

With practice, you learn that it’s not a big deal. You can be with it, with non-judgment, gentleness, even love.

Transform It Into Creativity & Action

Once you’ve done that, there’s another incredible way to work with this energy in your body. It feels like something you don’t want … but actually, it’s just energy.

This is the energy of life. Of being human. Of fear and meaning. Of learning and creating. Of discovering something new. Of connecting and falling in love.

This energy is not something to expel from your life, but rather to use in your creation. What can you create in this place of resistance, in the unknown? Can you let yourself stay curious, and explore? What might emerge, if you stay open here?

From this place, your deepest creation will be uncovered. You begin to realize that you are not the inventor of your creations but the discoverer of them. You begin to get excited about what might be unearthed in the unknown.

This is magic. What are you waiting for?

The post Creating When You Feel Resistance appeared first on zen habits.

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