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iPhone 15 Lineup Rumored to Feature Significantly Larger Batteries

The iPhone 15 lineup will feature significantly larger batteries across the board, according to an alleged Foxconn worker speaking to ITHome.

iPhone 15 lineup dummy models.

The information claims that the iPhone 15 will feature an 18% larger battery, iPhone 15 Plus and iPhone 15 Pro a 14% larger battery, and the iPhone 15 Pro Max a 12% larger battery. The exact capacity changes are said to be as follows:



























2021 2022 2023
iPhone 13: 3,227mAh iPhone 14: 3,279mAh iPhone 15: 3,877mAh
iPhone 13 mini: 2,406mAh iPhone 14 Plus: 4,325mAh iPhone 15 Plus: 4,912mAh
iPhone 13 Pro: 3,095mAh iPhone 14 Pro: 3,200mAh iPhone 15 Pro: 3,650mAh
iPhone 13 Pro Max: 4,352mAh iPhone 14 Pro Max: 4,323mAh iPhone 15 Pro Max: 4,852mAh



If correct, the changes would mean that the 15 Plus would increase its battery capacity lead over the Pro Max model even further, while the 15 Pro would remain the iPhone with the smallest battery. The source is without a proven track record, but the alleged capacities seem plausible, especially given the fact that this year's iPhone models are expected to get slightly thicker, providing more internal space for larger batteries. With the efficiency improvements of the A16 and A17 Bionic chips, it seems highly likely that the entire iPhone lineup could boast battery life improvements this year.

ITHome also highlighted separate information purportedly coming out of Foxconn that is circulating on Weibo saying that the iPhone 15 Pro will begin with 256GB of storage as standard, doubling the current 128GB base storage configuration. This would also be a key differentiator between the Pro and non-Pro models, since the iPhone 15 and iPhone 15 Plus are still expected to start with 128GB of storage.
Related Roundups: iPhone 15, iPhone 15 Pro
Tag: Foxconn
Related Forum: iPhone

This article, "iPhone 15 Lineup Rumored to Feature Significantly Larger Batteries" first appeared on MacRumors.com

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This startup’s nanotech is creating new materials for the energy transition


Humanity has always relied on a revolution in materials to advance to the next stage of civilisation. Dutch nanoparticle technology startup VSParticle says it is on the verge of opening up a century’s worth of material innovation in the next 10 years, helping, well, to save the planet.  Co-founder and CEO Aaike van Vugt is convinced that in order to reach our targets of keeping global warming well below 2°C, we need to speed up the process of material development significantly.  “The amount of material innovation that we need to unlock in the next decades to make the whole energy…

This story continues at The Next Web

Top Five New Features in iPadOS 17

While iPadOS 17 has adopted almost all of the features that are available in iOS 17, there are also several additions designed specifically for the larger display of the iPad. In our latest video, we've highlighted the best new features available for the ‌iPad‌ in the ‌iPadOS 17‌ update.



  1. Updated Lock Screen - In ‌iPadOS 17‌, the ‌iPad‌ gets the Lock Screen customization features that came to the iPhone with iOS 16. ‌iPadOS 17‌ users can choose the look of the date and time, select different iPad-optimized wallpaper options, and have multiple Lock Screens that are tied to Focus modes.

  2. Widgets and Live Activities - Live Activities are now supported on the ‌iPad‌'s Lock Screen, so you can follow along with timers, food orders, sports games, and more. Widgets on the Lock Screen and the Home Screen are interactive, allowing you to turn on the lights, play a song, mark a reminder as complete, and more, directly from the widget with no need to open an app.

  3. Health App - The Health app is available on the ‌iPad‌ in ‌iPadOS 17‌, showing health data in detail. The app is optimized for the ‌iPad‌'s display with an updated Favorites view and interactive charts for categories like Trends and Highlights.

  4. PDF & Notes Additions - Enhanced Autofill allows the ‌iPad‌ to identify fields in a PDF or scanned document so names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, and other information can be added from contact cards. There's also a new feature for collaborating on PDFs with others directly through the Notes app. The Notes app has been enhanced for PDFs, and PDFs will show up in full width for quick annotations with Apple Pencil.

  5. Stage Manager Updates - When using Stage Manager, windows can be freely resized, repositioned, and placed anywhere on the display. ‌Stage Manager‌ also supports an external camera like the one on the Studio Display for FaceTime and conference calls.


For more on what's new in the ‌iPadOS 17‌ update, we have a dedicated iPadOS 17 roundup.
Related Roundups: iOS 17, iPadOS 17
Related Forums: iOS 17, iPadOS 17

This article, "Top Five New Features in iPadOS 17" first appeared on MacRumors.com

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French riots and 5 other social ills blamed on video games


Emmanuel Macron has a new scapegoat for the riots engulfing France. As violent protests sparked by the fatal police shooting of a teenager spread across his nation, the president first blamed social networks and parents, before pointing the finger at a beloved boogeyman: video games. “It sometimes feels like some of them re-live in the streets the video games that have intoxicated them,” Macron said at a crisis meeting on Friday. The 45-year-old was echoing a common claim, but it’s one with scant empirical evidence. Studies have consistently rebuffed connections between violent video games and violent behaviour. Christopher Ferguson, a professor at…

This story continues at The Next Web

The Hole

Photograph by Nicolaia Rips.

When he walked into my bedroom for the first time, he pointed at the top right corner of the room. “What is that?”

The answer was a hole. Directly above my closet and several inches below the start of my ceiling is an obvious nook—a deep-set crawl space suspended inside my wall. If that weren’t fun enough—“fun” said through gritted teeth, like how the realtor said “Now, this is fun” when he showed me the nook—there’s another feature: a bolted door within the nook. A dusty, intrusive, and creaky wooden door that points up to the sky. Between the bolts that secure the door is a sliver of light, slim enough that you can’t see what’s on the other side.

My building is an old Boerum Hill brownstone with a criminal exterior renovation. Inside my bedroom, though, the floors slant and the ceiling droops. It’s a beautiful princess bedroom, if the princess never got saved and lived forever unmedicated in her virginal bedroom. It’s a room of illusions, and the nook is its most illusive element. The nook is the last thing I see every night before I go to sleep. Goodnight Moon, good night dollhouse room, good night nook.

He was the first person I dated after a catastrophic college relationship. He was sweet. He reminded me of a portrait of a medieval saint or a beautiful lesbian. He asked questions.

“What are your dreams for the future?” Don’t know. “What did you want to be when you were small?” Taller. “Where does the door in the nook go?” Not sure. “Have you ever opened it?” Never. “Never?” Never ever. From my bed he would stare at it, and the more I tried to ignore it, the more he pushed. “What if there’s something amazing up there?” And what if there isn’t. Here we are in my bed, I thought, no point in fantasy.

He believed doors were made to be opened. I believed, firmly, that some doors should not be. Locked basement doors, closed bedroom doors, the door to a safe, the attic door in a horror flick, a patio door on a burning summer day when the AC is on, the seventh door in Bluebeard’s Castle. He argued for letting in the elements; I, for the threat of a draft. I could unleash a spirit or an alien or a doll left up there imbued with the spirit of a child born during the Depression or of some creep who studied acting at an Ivy League. A ghost is like a pet or a child, and I’m not responsible enough to handle a poltergeist.

Unfortunately, my refusal to deal with the door rendered the whole nook a lost space. There, above my head, was a nook the size of a rich child’s tree house, and I was neglecting it. It was large enough that I imagined I could stand in it fairly comfortably. Being raised in Manhattan, I started to obsess about the nook. I could rent it out as a fourth bedroom. I could use it as off-season storage for several lumpy hand-knit sweaters I felt too guilty to get rid of. I could build a library in it for books I’d stolen and borrowed. In fact, he was upset that I’d never read any of the books he’d lent me. He noticed I was using his favorite book as a coffee coaster.

Our relationship, like most organically sweet things, rotted. When he dumped me, he said there was a disconnect. He said maybe we’d find our way back to each other, and I said we would not. A classic door-half-open divide: he tried to keep it open, but I bolted it shut.

A few days after we broke up, I propped a chair against the wall and scrambled upward. Halfway into the nook, my arm strength dissolved. I dangled, my tush protruding from the wall, wiggling stupidly. I considered shouting for my roommate. Then, I considered her laughing at me. Maybe, I thought, I should just allow myself to be stuck. It’s fine to be stuck. I continued up. There I crouched, panting, in the crawl space, jamming at that ungiving door. With a crack it broke.

From the waist up I stuck out through the ceiling. I could see over Brooklyn. Brooklyn could see over me—a ghoulish, dust-covered, and bizarrely grinning woman escaping from an attic. I wedged myself up further. Suddenly, I was on the tilted roof. The door was open and there was nothing to be scared of. When one door closes, God opens a trapdoor.

 

Nicolaia Rips is the author of the memoir Trying to Float: Coming of Age in the Chelsea Hotel.

Helping verbs are curious, AND fascinating

Decorative grey background with light circles. "Helping verbs are curious, AND fascinating" by Edwin Battistella

Helping verbs are curious, AND fascinating

English has a big bagful of auxiliary verbs. You may have learned these as “helping verbs” in elementary and middle school, since they are sometimes described as verbs that “help” the main verb express its meaning. There are even schoolroom songs about them. They are a curious bunch.

The auxiliaries include the modal verbs (can and could, shall and should, will and would, may and might, and must). The verb that follows a modal is in its bare, uninflected form: can go, could go, must go, and so on. There are also a number of semi-modal auxiliary verbs (such as dare, need, ought to, had better, have to, and used to). Some are compound words spelled with a space and several have unusual grammatical properties as well, such as being resistant to contraction or inversion. And in parts of the English-speaking world, modals can double up, yielding expressions like might could, may can, might should, and more.

Aside from the modals, semi-modals, and double modals, the primary auxiliaries are forms of have, be, and do, which are inflected for tense (is versus was, has versus had, do versus did), number (is versus are, has versus have), and person(is versus am versus are, do versus does). These auxiliaries help to indicate verbal nuances like emphasis, the perfect and progressive aspects, and the passive voice. Here are some examples, adapted from Ernest Hemmingway’s The Old Man and the Sea:

Those who did catch sharks had taken them to the shark factory on the other side of the cove … (emphatic do and perfect aspect had)

The old man opened his eyes and for a moment he was coming back from a long way away. (progressive aspect)

His shirt was patched so many times that it was like the sail … (passive voice)

The primary auxiliaries come before the negative adverb not and allow contraction to it.

They didn’t catch sharks.

His shirt wasn’t patched.

He hadn’t taken the sharks.

And they play a role in questions by hopping to the left over the subject

Did they catch sharks?

Was his shirt patched?

Had he taken the sharks?

or by being copied at the end in a tag question.

They caught sharks, didn’t they?

His shirt was patched, wasn’t it?

He had taken the sharks, hadn’t he?

Main verbs like see and go and walk don’t do any of those tricks.

Things get even curiouser, however, because the helping verbs have and do have doppelgangers that actually are main verbs.

The old man did his chores. 

His shirt had a tear in it.

How do we know these are main verbs and not helping verbs? Well, for one thing, they are the only verbs in the sentence. For another, they can occur with other helping verbs:

The old man had done his chores. 

His shirt had had a tear in it all day.

And if you make the sentences questions or negate them, you have to add a form of auxiliary do.

Did the old man do his chores?

Did his shirt have a tear in it?

The helping verb be also has a doppelganger main verb, but the forms of main verb be behave pretty much just like the helping verb. More curious behavior, keeping us on our toes. The first sentence below has past tense main verb was followed by an adjective; the other two have the past tense helping verb was.

The shark was tenacious. (main verb was)

The shark was never caught. (auxiliary was)

The old man was trying his best. (auxiliary was)

But all three was forms hop to the left in questions.

Was the shark tenacious?

Was the shark ever caught?

Was the old man trying his best?

The curious behavior of helping verbs goes on and on, with different dialects doing different things. If you’ve read many British novels or watched British television you might have noticed forms of helping verb do popping up in elliptical sentences. Here’s an example from J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Two Towers: “Sam frowned. If he could have bored holes in Gollum with his eyes, he would have done.” (For a study of these forms, check out Ronald Butters’s 1983 article “Syntactic change in British English propredicates.”)

In African American English, the auxiliary done lends a completive meaning to events. You can see it in these dialogue examples from August Wilson’s Fences and from Walter Mosely’s Blond Faith: “Now I done give you everything I got to give you!” and “Didn’t she tell you that Pericles done passed on.” For more on this use of done, take a look at the chapters by Lisa J. Green and Walter Sistrunk and by Charles E. DeBose in the Oxford Handbook of African American Language.

We’ve just scratched the surface of auxiliaries. I hope you’ve become curious about these curious words.

Featured image by Alexander Grey via Unsplash (public domain)

OUPblog - Academic insights for the thinking world.

Top Stories: 30-Inch iMac Rumor, iCloud+ Price Increase, and More

Apple's Vision Pro headset made the big splash at WWDC last month, but the company clearly has a lot more in its pipeline as Bloomberg's Mark Gurman this week outlined well over a dozen products coming over the next year or so.


In other Apple news this week, iCloud+ subscribers in many countries will be seeing a price increase, while we took deeper dives into some of the major watchOS 10 changes and the new interactive widgets in macOS Sonoma, so read on for all the details on these stories and more!

Apple Product Roadmap 2023–24: Over 15 New Devices in Development


Apple is working on at least a dozen new devices set to launch between late 2023 and early 2024, according to an updated product roadmap shared by Bloomberg's Mark Gurman.


In the latest edition of his Power On newsletter, Gurman explained that Apple is planning to launch two Apple Watch Series 9 models and a second-generation Apple Watch Ultra alongside the iPhone 15 lineup this fall. He also listed various M3 Macs in the pipeline and said that Apple has started early work on a larger iMac with over a 30-inch display.

Apple Reportedly Developing Larger iMac With Over 30-Inch Display


Apple is in the early stages of developing a new iMac with over a 30-inch display, according to Gurman. He said this iMac remains "further out," suggesting that it might be at least a year or two away from launching.


Excluding refurbished models, the iMac is currently only available in a 24-inch size, as Apple discontinued the Intel-based 27-inch iMac and iMac Pro over the last few years. Despite occasional rumors about the iMac Pro making a comeback, there is still no larger iMac with Apple silicon available.

Apple Hikes iCloud+ Subscription Prices in Many Countries Around the World


Apple has increased the price of iCloud storage in many countries around the world, including the UK, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Poland, Bulgaria, Romania, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, and others.


The price hikes apply to the 50GB, 200GB, and 2TB storage plans for iCloud. All paid ‌iCloud‌+ storage plans include additional features like ‌iCloud‌ Private Relay, Hide My Email, and Custom Email Domains.

watchOS 10: Top Five New Features


watchOS 10 is one of the biggest software updates ever for the Apple Watch. In a recent post and YouTube video, we highlighted five of the top new features introduced with watchOS 10, including the Smart Stack, which lets you scroll through widgets.


watchOS 10 will be released later this year for the Apple Watch Series 4 and newer, and the update is currently available in beta for users with an Apple developer account.

Here's How Interactive Widgets Work in macOS Sonoma


In macOS Sonoma, Apple has changed the widgets landscape. No longer do widgets have to be hidden offscreen and largely forgotten in the Notifications Center panel. Now they live right on your desktop – and they're interactive, too.


In a recent blog post, we explained how interactive widgets work in macOS Sonoma. The software update is currently in beta and will be released later this year.

iPhone 13 Pro vs. 15 Pro: What to Expect if You've Waited to Upgrade


While year-over-year iPhone upgrades are not always significant, new features begin to stack up over multiple generations. For this reason, the upcoming iPhone 15 Pro will be a notable upgrade for those who still have a two-year-old iPhone 13 Pro.


Here's what to expect from the iPhone 15 Pro if you still have an iPhone 13 Pro. We have also shared comparisons to the iPhone 11 Pro and iPhone 12 Pro.

MacRumors Newsletter


Each week, we publish an email newsletter like this highlighting the top Apple stories, making it a great way to get a bite-sized recap of the week hitting all of the major topics we've covered and tying together related stories for a big-picture view.

So if you want to have top stories like the above recap delivered to your email inbox each week, subscribe to our newsletter!
This article, "Top Stories: 30-Inch iMac Rumor, iCloud+ Price Increase, and More" first appeared on MacRumors.com

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The MacRumors Show: What New Devices Should Apple Make?

On this week's episode of The MacRumors Show, we ponder some of the devices and apps we wish Apple would make.


We discuss our wish lists, including some plausible ideas like a foldable iPhone, Apple TV soundbar, task manager and Notion-like productivity app, and even an Apple Books e-reader, as well as some outlandish devices like an Activity Rings fitness band and specific HomeKit appliances. Let us know what your dream Apple devices and apps are in the comments.

Listen to The MacRumors Show in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Pocket Casts, Castro, Google Podcasts, or your preferred podcasts app. You can also copy our RSS feed directly into your podcast player. Watch a video version of the show on the MacRumors YouTube channel.


If you haven't already listened to the previous episode of The MacRumors Show, listen to our discussion about our experiences after spending two weeks using the beta versions of watchOS 10, iOS 17, iPadOS 17, macOS Sonoma, and tvOS 17.

Subscribe to ‌The MacRumors Show‌ for more episodes, where we discuss some of the topical news breaking here on MacRumors, often joined by exciting guests like Andru Edwards, Kevin Nether, Arnold Kim, Ben Sullins, Mark Gurman, Marcus Kane, Christopher Lawley, Frank McShan, David Lewis, Tyler Stalman, Jon Prosser, Sam Kohl, Quinn Nelson, John Gruber, Federico Viticci, Sara Dietschy, Luke Miani, Thomas Frank, Jonathan Morrison, iJustine, Ross Young, Ian Zelbo, Jon Rettinger, and Rene Ritchie. You can also head over to The MacRumors Show forum thread to engage with us directly. Remember to rate and review the show, and let us know what subjects you would like the podcast to cover in the future.
This article, "The MacRumors Show: What New Devices Should Apple Make?" first appeared on MacRumors.com

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MacRumors Giveaway: Win a 15-Inch MacBook Air From GRID Studio

For this week's giveaway, we've teamed up with GRID Studio to offer MacRumors readers a chance to win a 15-inch MacBook Air. For those unfamiliar with GRID Studio, it is a company that acquires vintage Apple products, disassembles them, and turns them into art for Apple fans.


Each piece features a deconstructed Apple device with the components artfully displayed behind a glass frame that can be hung on the wall to enhance an office space, living room, or other area. Pricing on GRID artwork starts at around $40, and goes up based on complexity.

The GRID 1 is one of GRID Studio's most popular offerings because it showcases the original iPhone, an important piece of Apple's history. Priced at $400, the GRID 1 features the internal parts of an ‌iPhone‌, with each component separated out and labeled so you can see everything that made the original ‌iPhone‌ special at a glance. The ‌iPhone‌'s shell is displayed next to the power button, headphone socket, speaker, logic board, circuit board, ear piece, and more. Real batteries are not included because of the hazard of using that component, but stand-ins are available.


GRID Studio doesn't just focus on iPhones, with other devices available as well. If you're an iPad fan, a disassembled version of the original ‌iPad‌ is available for $400. Like the ‌iPhone‌ version, the GRID iPad features the casing of the first ‌iPad‌ along with an array of the internals, all labeled and aesthetically arranged.


Fans of Apple's chip work can get the GRID Apple A Series Mobile Processors set, a $99 piece of art that features actual Apple A-series chips arranged in a timeline so you can see the improvements over the years. The piece includes everything from the 2010 A4 chip to the A14 Bionic released in 2020.


GRID Studio has started branching out beyond device teardowns and has a fun Apple badge collection that features a frame filled with pins representing Apple products over the years.

The $500 Apple Badge Collection includes 80 badges that start with the 1976 Apple I and run through the 2022 Studio Display. Each pin is highly detailed, and there are also sets that focus just on the iPhone and iPad or the Mac.


GRID Studio also sells deconstructed Android phones, disassembled Nintendo devices, art featuring consoles from Sony and Microsoft, and more. The company is hosting a summer sale right now, with discounted prices on many of its products. Some frames are discounted up to 55 percent, and the sale will run through July 15.

We have a 15-inch ‌MacBook Air‌ with 256GB of storage from GRID Studio to give away to one lucky MacRumors reader. To enter to win, use the widget below and enter an email address. Email addresses will be used solely for contact purposes to reach the winners and send the prizes. You can earn additional entries by subscribing to our weekly newsletter, subscribing to our YouTube channel, following us on Twitter, following us on Instagram, or visiting the MacRumors Facebook page.

Due to the complexities of international laws regarding giveaways, only U.S. residents who are 18 years or older, UK residents who are 18 years or older, and Canadian residents (excluding Quebec) who have reached the age of majority in their province or territory are eligible to enter. All federal, state, provincial, and/or local taxes, fees, and surcharges are the sole responsibility of the prize winner. To offer feedback or get more information on the giveaway restrictions, please refer to our Site Feedback section, as that is where discussion of the rules will be redirected.


The contest will run from today (June 30) at 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time through 9:00 a.m. Pacific Time on July 7. The winner will be chosen randomly on July 7 and will be contacted by email. The winner will have 48 hours to respond and provide a shipping address before a new winner is chosen.
This article, "MacRumors Giveaway: Win a 15-Inch MacBook Air From GRID Studio" first appeared on MacRumors.com

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Pasolini on Caravaggio’s Artificial Light

Caravaggio, Self-portrait as the Sick Bacchus. Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons.

Pasolini’s pen was preternatural in its output. Collected by the publishing house Mondadori in their prestigious Meridiani series, his complete works in the original Italian (excluding private documents such as diaries, and his immense, largely unpublished, epistolary exchanges in various languages) fill ten densely printed volumes. The twenty thousand or so pages of this gargantuan oeuvre suggest that, in the course of his short adult life, Pasolini must have written thousands of words every day, without fail. 

Allusions to painting—and to the visual arts more broadly—appear across the full range of Pasolini’s writings, from journalistic essays to poetry and work for theater and film. The intended destination of the textual fragment below, which remained unpublished during Pasolini’s lifetime, remains uncertain. We know, however, that it was most likely penned in 1974. The “characterological” novelty of Caravaggio’s subjects, to which Pasolini alludes in passing, underscores some of the parallels between the two artists’ bodies of work: an eye for the unlikely sacredness of the coarse and squalid; a penchant for boorishness to the point of blasphemy; an attraction to louts and scoundrels of a certain type—the “rough trade,” of homosexual parlance.It is striking, for instance, that some of the nonprofessional actors that Pasolini found in the outskirts of Rome and placed in front of his camera bear an uncanny resemblance to the “new kinds of people” that Caravaggio “placed in front of his studio’s easel,” to quote from the essay presented here. Take Ettore Garofolo, who for a moment in Mamma Roma looks like a tableau vivant of Caravaggio’s Bacchus as a young waiter. Even the illness that ultimately kills that subproletarian character—so often read as a metaphor of the effects of late capitalism on Italy’s post-Fascist society—is born out of an art historical intuition that is articulated in this fragment on Caravaggio’s use of light. 

But it was equally an exquisite formal sense—a search after “new forms of realism”—that drew Pasolini to Caravaggio’s work, particularly the peculiar accord struck in his paintings between naturalism and stylization. Pasolini professed to “hate naturalism” and, with some exceptions, avoided the effects of Tenebrism in his cinema. It is, instead, the very artificiality of Caravaggio’s light—a light that belongs “to painting, not to reality”—which earns his admiration.

The Roberto Longhi mentioned below is Pasolini’s former teacher, an art historian at the forefront of Caravaggio studies. It was Longhi who resurrected the painter from a certain obscurity in the twenties, arguing for the consequence of his work to a wider European tradition from Rembrandt and Ribera to Courbet and Manet.

—Alessandro Giammei and Ara H. Merjian

 

Anything I could ever know about Caravaggio derives from what Roberto Longhi had to say about him. Yes, Caravaggio was a great inventor, and thus a great realist. But what did Caravaggio invent? In answering this rhetorical question, I cannot help but stick to Longhi’s example. First, Caravaggio invented a new world that, to invoke the language of cinematography, one might call profilmic. By this I mean everything that appears in front of the camera. Caravaggio invented an entire world to place in front of his studio’s easel: new kinds of people (in both a social and characterological sense), new kinds of objects, and new kinds of landscapes. Second: Caravaggio invented a new kind of light. He replaced the universal, platonic light of the Renaissance with a quotidian and dramatic one. Caravaggio invented both this new kind of light and new kinds of people and things because he had seen them in reality. He realized that there were individuals around him who had never appeared in the great altarpieces and frescoes, individuals who had been marginalized by the cultural ideology of the previous two centuries. And there were hours of the day—transient, yet unequivocal in their lighting—which had never been reproduced, and which were pushed so far from habit and use that they had become scandalous, and therefore repressed. So repressed, in fact, that painters (and people in general) probably didn’t see them at all until Caravaggio.

The third thing that Caravaggio invented is a membrane that separates both him (the author) and us (the audience) from his characters, still lifes, and landscapes. This membrane, too, is made of light, but of an artificial light proper solely to painting, not to reality—a membrane that transposes the things that Caravaggio painted into a separate universe. In a certain sense, that universe is dead, at least compared to the life and realism with which the things were perceived and painted in the first place, a process brilliantly accounted for by Longhi’s hypothesis that Caravaggio painted while looking at his figures reflected in a mirror. Such were the figures that he had chosen according to a certain realism: neglected errand boys at the greengrocer’s, common women entirely overlooked, et cetera. Though immersed in that realistic light, the light of a specific hour with all its sun and all its shadow, everything in the mirror appears suspended, as if by an excess of truth, of the empirical. Everything appears dead.

I may love, in a critical sense, Caravaggio’s realistic choice to trace the paintable world through characters and objects. Even more critically, I may love the invention of a new light that gives room to immobile events. Yet a great deal of historicism is necessary to grasp Caravaggio’s realism in all its majesty. As I am not an art critic, and see things from a false and flattened historical perspective, Caravaggio’s realism seems rather normal to me, superseded as it was throughout the centuries by other, newer forms of realism. As far as light is concerned, I may appreciate Caravaggio’s invention in its stupendous drama. Yet because of my own aesthetic penchants—determined by who knows what stirrings in my subconscious—I don’t like inventions of light. I much prefer the invention of forms. A new way to perceive light excites me far less than a new way to perceive, say, the knee of a Madonna under her mantle, or the close-up perspective of some saint. I love the invention and the abolition of geometries, compositions, chiaroscuro. In front of Caravaggio’s illuminated chaos, I remain admiring but also, if one sought my strictly personal opinion here, a tad detached. What excites me is his third invention: the luminous membrane that renders his figures separate, artificial, as though reflected in a cosmic mirror. Here, the realist and abject traits of faces appear smoothed into a mortuary characterology; and thus light, though dripping with the precise time of day from which it was plucked, becomes fixed in a prodigiously crystallized machine. The young Bacchus is ill, but so is his fruit. And not only the young Bacchus; all of Caravaggio’s characters are ill. Though they should be vital and healthy as a matter of consequence, their skin is steeped in the dusky pallor of death.

Translated from the Italian by Alessandro Giammei and Ara H. Merjian. 

From Heretical Aesthetics: Pasolini on Painting, to be published by Verso Books in August.

Alessandro Giammei is an assistant professor of Italian studies at Yale University. Il Rinascimento è uno zombie will be published by Einaudi in 2024.  

Ara H. Merjian is a professor of Italian studies at New York University. He is the author of Against the Avant-Garde: Pier Paolo Pasolini, Contemporary Art, and Neocapitalism. Fragments of Totality: Futurism, Fascism, and the Sculptural Avant-Garde will be published by Yale University Press in 2024.  

Euclid telescope set to embark on dark universe exploration mission


ESA’s mission to unravel the mysteries of the dark universe is set for launch. Following a one-year delay caused by the Ukraine invasion, the Euclid space telescope is scheduled for takeoff on July 1 at 5:11PM CEST time from Cape Canaveral in Florida, US. Named after the famous Greek mathematician, the telescope will embark on a month-long journey to reach its destination at a position in space known as the second Lagrange point (L2) — located 1.5 million kilometres away from our planet. There, it will be able to observe deep space, with the sun, the Earth, and the moon…

This story continues at The Next Web

Opinion: We can’t engineer ourselves out of the climate crisis


Let’s face it — climate change is humanity’s greatest screw-up. We’ve known about it for almost a century. The science is clear. And yet, we’ve done nothing. It’s a f**king embarrassment.  Now, finally, global leaders are scrambling to clean up the mess. But, even though most of the climate solutions we need already exist, we can’t seem to get our arses in gear to deploy them at the pace and scale required.  In short, the world is heating up, and we are failing to cool it down. Humans emitted more CO2 into the atmosphere last year than ever before (uh…WTF?).…

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Diary, 2021

In these pages, written in 2021, I seem to have been looking back at earlier notes and journals. The story of Pierre—a French shepherd—is a project imagined decades ago that I still have not given up on. My “theories” are also still interesting to me: for instance, that maybe certain people are more inclined to violence when there is less sensuality of other kinds in their lives.

 

Lydia Davis’s story collection Our Strangers will be published in fall 2023 by Bookshop Editions. Selections from her 1996 journals appear in the Review‘s new Summer issue, no. 244.

How music benefits your brain

A woman puts on headphones to listen to music while sitting on a couch.

On this episode of the Big Brains podcast, a scholar explains the neuroscience of how listening to and playing music builds our mind.

Music plays an important role in all of our lives. But listening to music or playing an instrument is more than just a creative outlet or hobby—it’s also scientifically good for us. Research shows that music can stimulate new connections in our brains; keeping our cognitive abilities sharp and our memories alive.

In a new book, Every Brain Needs Music: The Neuroscience of Making and Listening to Music (Columbia University Press, 2023), Larry Sherman explores why we all need music for our mental well-being—and how it can even help us later in life.

Sherman is a professor of neuroscience at Oregon Health & Science University.

Listen to the episode below:

Read the transcript to the episode. Subscribe to Big Brains on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, and Spotify.

Source: University of Chicago

The post How music benefits your brain appeared first on Futurity.

In Memory of Bear Braumoeller

Sometimes you come across people that permanently change the way you think. About life, yourself, or an area of study. They instill a sense of resolute optimism about the world and your abilities. Bear Braumoeller was that person for us. Wise, accomplished, brilliant, humble, and kind. Anyone who can be remembered that way lived life well. Bear is one of those people. He was our professor, mentor, colleague, and friend. We were richer for knowing him, and are poorer for his passing.

We first got the chance to meet Bear during our recruitment process to Ohio State. We gravitated toward him and his research. Bear went out of his way to bring in the best and brightest graduate students to the program, and was absolutely relentless in his efforts. He took phone calls from us, discussed all of our options, and went out of his way to procure funds and opportunities for every student. Bear was known to showcase some of the best places to eat in Columbus, too. We all got along with Bear immediately, and he became a powerful force in our proverbial corner, helping us navigate and thrive in graduate school.

We’ve been fortunate to have terrific professors, but Bear was an unusually good professor. In graduate seminars, we were exposed to a wide breadth of topics in political and social science. The breadth that Bear introduced in his courses was unique for a political science class. Most importantly, he taught us how to read books and articles critically and constructively. Graduate students are often great at tearing apart a piece of scholarship. And that’s important. But published works are generally published for a reason, he reminded us, and so it’s equally important to identify their strengths in addition to their weaknesses. That approach cultivated humility (there are always tradeoffs in research) but was also encouraging. If graduate students think pieces published by top scholars in good journals are bad because we only focus on their downsides, how could we possibly do good work?

Bear’s take on the literature and the discipline was just like his research interests: complex, rich, and nuanced. He loved what he studied, and his knowledge in these areas often seemed encyclopedic. He would recommend a citation and quote on a whim, from memory. He always asked big, important questions, and he did his best to answer them. His two books, The Great Powers and the International System and Only the Dead, address two important questions in international politics: how leaders and historical circumstances jointly shape major historical outcomes, and whether war is declining. He was methodologically sophisticated, but for him it was about getting closer to the truth. He truly didn’t care what method you used if it fit the question. He had a great academic pedigree (University of Chicago, University of Michigan) but he wasn’t elitist. He wanted to hear from smart people, and he believed in demystifying the academy, making it accessible.

Bear was a formal advisor, but also a tremendous mentor to us. He helped guide many important decisions in graduate school, from the type of training we needed, our choice of dissertation topics, to the construction of our committees. Bear’s was ready to provide feedback on any idea or draft, regardless of its stage of development. He was also kind when he didn’t have to be, and when no one would praise him for it publicly. It’s just who he was. His feedback was always constructive and intended to enable better work. When we made mistakes he would correct us – firmly, gently, and privately.

Bear created the MESO (Modeling Emergent Social Order) Lab, which has been supported by NSF and the Carnegie Corporation of New York. It didn’t start as a lab, though. The first day some of us gathered in the conference room, it was just a group of people who Bear thought might be interested in an idea he had. We talked it over – a question about the relationship between hierarchical order and war – and decided it was interesting enough to pursue. One of the first things we did was to gather on a Thursday and just start working, the whole day, with no distractions, putting ideas on paper and into code. He would call them Hackathons, reminiscent of a Silicon Valley start-up. These early days made a huge impact on Bear. Numerous times after that, in presentations or conversations about what we were doing, he would mention that he had never before felt as productive as he did in those early research sessions. He realized that this was it, this was the way forward for him. This was not merely working on a project. This represented a change in how he was going to do research, in how he approached being a professor and working with graduate students.

International Relations is not known for collaborative research. The vast majority of major work in the field has a single author, more rarely two, and very rarely more than two authors. Some of us had co-authored with Bear before, but this was different. Whereas previous partnerships were more traditional co-authored research projects in which each author did their part, this was something bigger. Bear had a vision beyond group publications. He wanted us to grow into scholars who would think big, who wouldn’t be afraid to tackle questions that might seem intimidatingly broad, and who would pull the right minds together to tackle those problems. Our first project was “Hierarchy and War”, which addresses two of the biggest topics in the discipline. We were meant to say something new about both – and the relationship between them – in a single paper. The ambition was daunting, but that was Bear’s way: take big, important questions and swing as hard as you could at answering them.

As membership in the MESO Lab grew and expanded, Bear expanded the lab’s projects as well. As always, all projects are led by us, the students. Bear gave us remarkable autonomy and control over these projects: despite our status as graduate students, we had the final say over theoretical framing, modeling decisions, and data analysis. He gave us room to explore different paths, even if it meant delaying the progress of the project. In addition to developing us as scholars, he helped us develop as people. Bear understood that a good life outside of work with food, travel, and family, was of equal importance to doing great work. He expected high quality work from us, but the lab never became a source of stress or frustration. Being in the MESO Lab has been one of the greatest blessings from being Bear’s students. Just as a system is not equal to the sum of its parts, our lab produces scholarship that is more creative and fruitful than what we could individually create.

The loss of Bear leaves a gaping hole, not only in our lab but in our profession more broadly. People around the world have so beautifully expressed their appreciation and admiration for Bear, with an outpouring of tributes and memories. As is so often the case with grieving, those left behind expressed a desire for one more conversation, one more snarky comment, one more belly laugh, one more smile. His presence and reputation were felt with the same gravity and strength across the discipline. So many people felt as strongly and warmly about Bear as we did.

It is impossible to properly account for all the things Bear taught us. He taught us to be ambitious in our research. He taught us to be fearless when exploring and implementing new ideas. He taught us to be gentle and kind, with others and ourselves. His ideas and influence are all over our projects and dissertations. We will do our best to carry forward that work and legacy.

Rest in peace, Bear. It was a privilege and honor to have known you as a leader, mentor, and friend. Your memory is a blessing and you are missed.

About the authors

Maryum Alam, Andrew Goodhart, Michael Lopate, Haoming Xiong, and Liuya Zhang are political science Ph.D. candidates at The Ohio State University. Maël van Beek is an incoming postdoctoral research associate at Princeton University. David Peterson is an incoming post-doctoral fellow at the University of Michigan. Jared Edgerton is an Assistant Professor of political science at the University of Texas, Dallas.

Please consider donating to support Bear’s daughter, Molly Braumoeller.

Markets Won’t Stop Fossil Fuels

Global climate institutions have embraced the primacy of capital, private firms, and markets—and in so doing have fatally undermined their own efficacy.

“Lying” in computer-generated texts: hallucinations and omissions

An image of a human head made with colourful pipe cleaners to illustrate the blog post "'Lying' in computer-generated texts: hallucinations and omissions" by Kees van Deemter and Ehud Reiter

“Lying” in computer-generated texts: hallucinations and omissions

There is huge excitement about ChatGPT and other large generative language models that produce fluent and human-like texts in English and other human languages. But these models have one big drawback, which is that their texts can be factually incorrect (hallucination) and also leave out key information (omission).

In our chapter for The Oxford Handbook of Lying, we look at hallucinations, omissions, and other aspects of “lying” in computer-generated texts. We conclude that these problems are probably inevitable.

Omissions are inevitable because a computer system cannot cram all possibly-relevant information into a text that is short enough to be actually read. In the context of summarising medical information for doctors, for example, the computer system has access to a huge amount of patient data, but it does not know (and arguably cannot know) what will be most relevant to doctors.

Hallucinations are inevitable because of flaws in computer systems, regardless of the type of system. Systems which are explicitly programmed will suffer from software bugs (like all software systems). Systems which are trained on data, such as ChatGPT and other systems in the Deep Learning tradition, “hallucinate” even more. This happens for a variety of reasons. Perhaps most obviously, these systems suffer from flawed data (e.g., any system which learns from the Internet will be exposed to a lot of false information about vaccines, conspiracy theories, etc.). And even if a data-oriented system could be trained solely on bona fide texts that contain no falsehoods, its reliance on probabilistic methods will mean that word combinations that are very common on the Internet may also be produced in situations where they result in false information.

Suppose, for example, on the Internet, the word “coughing” is often followed by “… and sneezing.” Then a patient may be described falsely, by a data-oriented system, as “coughing and sneezing” in situations where they cough without sneezing. Problems of this kind are an important focus for researchers working on generative language models. Where this research will lead us is still uncertain; the best one can say is that we can try to reduce the impact of these issues, but we have no idea how to completely eliminate them.

“Large generative language models’ texts can be factually incorrect (hallucination) and leave out key information (omission).”

The above focuses on unintentional-but-unavoidable problems. There are also cases where a computer system arguably should hallucinate or omit information. An obvious example is generating marketing material, where omitting negative information about a product is expected. A more subtle example, which we have seen in our own work, is when information is potentially harmful and it is in users’ best interests to hide or distort it. For example, if a computer system is summarising information about sick babies for friends and family members, it probably should not tell an elderly grandmother with a heart condition that the baby may die, since this could trigger a heart attack.

Now that the factual accuracy of computer-generated text draws so much attention from society as a whole, the research community is starting to realize more clearly than before that we only have a limited understanding of what it means to speak the truth. In particular, we do not know how to measure the extent of (un)truthfulness in a given text.

To see what we mean, suppose two different language models answer a user’s question in two different ways, by generating two different answer texts. To compare these systems’ performance, we would need a “score card” that allowed us to objectively score the two texts as regards their factual correctness, using a variety of rubrics. Such a score card would allow us to record how often each type of error occurs in a given text, and aggregate the result into an overall truthfulness score for that text. Of particular importance would be the weighing of errors: large errors (e.g., a temperature reading that is very far from the actual temperature) should weigh more heavily than small ones, key facts should weigh more heavily than side issues, and errors that are genuinely misleading should weigh more heavily than typos that readers can correct by themselves. Essentially, the score card would work like a fair school teacher who marks pupils’ papers.

We have developed protocols for human evaluators to find factual errors in generated texts, as have other researchers, but we cannot yet create a score card as described above because we cannot assess the impact of individual errors.

What is needed, we believe, is a new strand of linguistically informed research, to tease out all the different parameters of “lying” in a manner that can inform the above-mentioned score cards, and that may one day be implemented into a reliable fact-checking protocol or algorithm. Until that time, those of us who are trying to assess the truthfulness of ChatGPT will be groping in the dark.

Featured image by Google DeepMind Via Unsplash (public domain)

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A Summer Dispatch from the Review’s Poetry Editor

Detail from the cover art of issue no. 244: Emilie Louise Gossiaux, London with Ribbon, 2022, ballpoint pen on paper.

There’s a thrill of eros to many summer poems. Like in those late-eighties teen movies—Dirty DancingSay AnythingOne Crazy Summer—you never know when you’ll see some skin. And so it goes in our new Summer issue. In Jessica Laser’s dreamy, autobiographical remembrance “Kings,” the poet recalls a drinking game she used to play in high school on the shore of Lake Michigan over summer vacations:

                                     … You never knew
whether it would be strip or not, so you always
considered wearing layers. It was summer.
Sometimes you’d get pretty naked
but it wasn’t pushy. You could take off
one sock at a time.

Is that easygoing, one-sock-at-a-time feeling what defines the summer fling? Maybe that’s just how objects appear in the rearview mirror; even the most operatic affairs can seem a little comical in retrospect. In his poem “Armed Cavalier,” Richie Hofmann captures the hothouse kind of summer romance, when two lovers lock themselves away “for a whole weekend / and not eat or drink.” I love the wry look he casts over his shoulder at the end of these lines:

Stars, slow traffic,

the summer I wished you loved me

enough to kill me,

but not really.

If you’re curious to learn more about the story behind “Armed Cavalier,” check out our online Making of a Poem series feature on his poem this month. Leopoldine Core, whose poem “Ex-Stewardess” appears in this issue, recently contributed to the series, too—and to my summer playlist. “I was listening to Tangerine Dream, Ryuichi Sakamoto, ‘Dance II’ by Discovery Zone, and this mournful song ‘Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms,’ performed by Mia Farrow in The Muppets Valentine Show in 1974,” Core recalls. I’m listening to Farrow’s Muppets Show rendition as I write this, and Core’s right, she does sound “a little like Nico.”

They say that on hot summer days in the nation’s capital, Richard Nixon would light a roaring blaze in the fireplace of his White House study, crank the air conditioning up to full blast, put on a little Mantovani, and gaze out the window at the Washington Monument. This might be one of the few things Nixon and I have in common; while my fellow Americans are out in droves worshipping the sun, I like nothing more than to retreat to my home office and, thermostat set to eco mode, leaf through poems about summer. In this issue’s pages, fellow seasonal voyeurs will find that Lewis Meyers’s “Summer Letters” delivers “the black raspberry’s passion for a drop of sunlight” without any need for sunscreen. “Summer Letters” marks the late Meyers’s return to our pages after more than a half century; his last poem in the magazine, “Going to Chicago,” was published in a 1965 issue, under the Johnson administration. We’re grateful to Meyers’s widow, Diana, and to the poet Ellen Doré Watson, for sharing the poem with us.

Elsewhere, Sharon Olds muses on her quest to find a better language for sex in her Art of Poetry interview, and John Keene, in his Art of Fiction interview, observes that Portuguese is better suited to that task than English. It should also be said that, although we tried our best, not every poem in this issue is about summer, sex, or summer sex. You’ll also find a philosophical poem about cats by the great Argentinian writer Mirta Rosenberg, translated from the Spanish by Yaki Setton and Sergio Waisman; an excerpt from Imani Elizabeth Jackson’s expansive minimalist sequence “Flag”; and a poetic noir set in the Antwerp of Jonathan Thirkield’s singular imagination. Bon voyage, and happy reading.

 

Srikanth Reddy is the Review‘s poetry editor.

Plain as day?

Sunset over mountains illustrating "Plain as day?" blog post by the Oxford Etymologist on the OUP blog.

Plain as day?

Etymologists interacting with the public on a day-to-day basis usually receive questions about words like copacetic and shenanigans, but so many nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and even prepositions and conjunctions not crying for attention are not less, perhaps even more, interesting. Over the years, I have written about summer, winter, ice, sheep, dog, live, leave, good, bad, red, and even such inconspicuous words as but and yet, to mention just a few. We use them like old trusty tools and never stop to ask where they came from. Somebody somewhere coined them, which probably means that once upon a time they were as transparent to speakers as giggle and hiccup. But today their origin is either debatable or unknown. Isn’t a dog called a dog because it looks like a dog, runs like a dog, and barks like a dog? This is what the naïve speaker thinks, though nothing in the group d-o-g suggests a muzzle, swiftness, or any kind of explosive sound. How did day and night get their names? Aren’t the words in some way associated with light and darkness? Dictionaries know a lot about the oldest history of both but do not always provide a clue to the “motivation” that might explain their origin.

The origin of the word “day”

Let us look at day. Its past is not totally hidden (no reference to or pun on clear obscure!). Day has exact cognates everywhere in Old Germanic, including of course Old English, as well as in Sanskrit, Celtic, Slavic, and elsewhere. In Old Icelandic, the proper name Dagr has been recorded. Similar names existed in Gothic and Old High German. Does this fact testify to the word’s significance in some religious ritual? We’ll never know. What conclusion will an etymologist two thousand years from now draw about our names June, Melody, and Makepeace? Day, it should be remembered, does not always mean “a period of twenty-four hours” (as in a few days ago) or half of this period (as in day and night or daytime): it sometimes refers to “a certain period or date” as in Doomsday, the day of reckoning, I’ll remember it until my dying day, and the like. Even if you were born at night, you probably celebrate your birthday. It follows that we are not quite sure where to begin our exploration, though day as “the period of light” looks more promising: after all, law-abiding citizens tend to make their arrangements for the time when there is enough light around, while at night most of us sleep.

DAWN, the beloved sister of DAY.
(Via Pexels, public domain)

Speakers of Modern English no longer realize that dawn has the same root as day. The verb to dawn means “to begin to grow light,” and the same reference is obvious in the phrase it dawned on me. I’ll skip the phonetic part of the story (why dawn? In German, unlike what we observe in English, the connection between the noun Tag and the verb tagen is immediately obvious). Will then a search for the etymology of day take us to the idea of “light,” as suggested above? Perhaps. But first, let us remember Latin diēs “day.” Its root occurs in the English words diurnal, dial “an instrument to tell the time of day by the shadow cast by the sun,” and diary, all three of course borrowed from Romance. Though diēs and day sound somewhat alike, they are not related (a fact often mentioned in dictionaries, to warn readers against what looks like an obvious conclusion), and as though to prove the absence of ties between them, language provides us with a word like Gothic sin-tiens “daily,” in which sin– means “one” and –tien– is a cognate of the Latin word. The correspondence d (Latin) ~ t (Gothic or any other Germanic language) is regular, by the so-called First Consonant Shift: compare Latin duo versus English two.

This is what a dial looks like.
(“Ottoman Sundial at the Debbane Palace museum” by Elias Ziade, via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0)

This –tien- has unquestionable correspondences all over the Indo-European world: for example, Sanskrit had dínam “day.” In Latin, we find the word nun-dinum “market held every ninth day.” Also, Russian den’ “day” (with cognates elsewhere in Slavic) and many other references elsewhere to burning, ashes, and warmth belongs here too. On the strength of, among others, several Greek words meaning “appear” and “visible,” the root of all such words has been understood as “shining.” Since the Sanskrit dèvas (obviously related) means “god,” this idea looks realistic. The Indo-Europeans habitually referred to “god” as “shining” or “sky” (such was Latin Jū-piter “sky father,” known to the ancient Scandinavians as Týr, no longer a sky god; but the name reveals his distant past). Yet it is still odd that both the words related to day and those related to diēs, though unconnected, sound somewhat alike and not only mean “day” but also begin with d. Did d suggest burning, heat, or glowing or refer to things dry and arid? Such ancient sound-symbolic associations are beyond reconstruction. They are often hard to pinpoint even in our modern languages.

Another puzzling lookalike is Sanskrit áhar “day.” It almost rhymes with Proto-Germanic dagaz but lacks d-, to which, above, I ventured to ascribe magical properties. An incredible coincidence? The Sanskrit noun has no correspondences in Germanic, Romance, Celtic, and elsewhere. (At least, none has been discovered.) Did áhar once have d- and lose it? The fertile imagination of historical linguists reconstructed several processes that could be responsible for the loss. Initial d- does sometimes disappear for no known reasons. For instance, t in tear (from the eye), which, as expected, corresponds to d outside Germanic, is sometimes absent altogether: this is true of Sanskrit and Baltic, among others. We have enough trouble with smobile (it tends to turn up wherever it wants). Did dmobile also exist? Most unlikely.

Jupiter and his degraded Scandinavian counterpart Týr.
(L: Louvre Museum. R: Icelandic National Library. Both via Wikimedia Commons, public domain.)

My point has been to show how intriguing some of our common words sometimes are. Copacetic is late (it was first recorded in the twentieth century), while day is older than most of the hills around us. But the problem of origin remains the same: people coin words and etymologists wander in a labyrinth of look-alikes, roots, fleeing initial, and final consonants, and emerge with the all-too familiar verdict: “Origin unknown (uncertain, disputed).” Yet day probably did refer to heat or a bright light. This conclusion sounds reasonable, assuming (and this a reliable assumption) that the word’s initial sense was “the time of light,” rather than “a certain period, date.” Plain as day? Almost.

Featured image by Ivana Cajina via Unsplash (public domain)

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On Vitamins

Molecular model of Vitamin B12. Licensed under CCO 4.0, courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Three years ago, I biked into a curb and fell on my head. When I got up, I couldn’t remember where I was, so I called an ambulance, which drove me to the nearest hospital, which was apparently one block away. The emergency room doctors told me there was nothing they could do. My eye was swollen, but my face seemed otherwise normal, and they wouldn’t know if anything was wrong with my brain unless they ran a CAT scan, which would expose me to toxic radiation. I asked if there were any nontoxic tests they could run for free. They offered to run a blood panel, which would let me know if I had any STIs. I let them bind my forearm, which had nothing to do with my head.

The next day, the doctor sent a message through the hospital’s online portal. My tests all came back negative, but they had also run a nutrient panel, and I was deficient in B12. I started googling. “Fell off bike low B12?” Everything that came up was random; I might as well have strung together any other combination of five words. I wanted to google more, but the doctor had told me that the internet was bad for my concussion. So I forgot about my deficiency and tried hard to make my body do nothing, which was the only way for it to heal.

Things got better. I started to feel normal, and eventually I was allowed to google as much as I wanted. Years went by. And then one day at a café, I met a man—a comedian—who told me horror stories about his life as a former vegan. His hair had fallen out, he was exhausted, his mood was always sour, and it was all because of vitamins: he could never get enough of them. While he complained, I felt my hairline receding; I was a vegan, too. And when I thought about it, really thought about it, my personality was on the decline. I was always struggling to make my days have meaning, and I wore my meaninglessness like a divine premonition. (“I have a feeling,” I texted a friend, “that something bad, really bad, is going to happen.”) I remembered the emergency room doctor’s diagnosis and felt the empty place inside of me where all the B12 supplements should have been, leeching into my bloodstream.

I tried to make a doctor’s appointment, but I had moved to California, and my insurance only covered care in New York. My body was on the West Coast, but all the tools I had for reading it were on the East. I told my father I was coming home to visit him, and when I arrived, asked him to drop me off at urgent care.

“Sorry,” said the receptionist. “The only blood work we do is for STIs. Nutrition panels aren’t urgent.”

I called my primary care physician’s office and told them that I had a need, a pressing need, for a B12 test. Everything I was feeling—daily bouts of idiocy, a persistent feeling of doom—was perfectly summarized by the deficiency symptoms I found online: headaches, psychological problems, palpitations, dementia. The receptionist told me that a nurse practitioner would be able to draw blood the next day—not soon enough. I requested a personal day from work and went to CVS, where I bought a bottle of supplements labeled “maximum strength.” Each pill contained 5,000 mcg of B12, which is 208,000 percent times the recommended daily value. They weren’t even vegan, but I took a double dose, hoping it would tide me over until my appointment, after which I was sure the doctor would put me on an emergency course of injections.

My brain was becoming an abacus. It was almost impossible to feel my feelings without translating them into the language of diagnosis, which was laughably general and yet strangely precise: symptoms claimed to contain the spectrum of human experience, but reduced that experience to a dozen ugly words. The vitamins themselves could counteract those ugly words because they contained good words of their own. Happiness, energy, valiance, relaxation: swallowing them daily felt like ingesting a little promise, saying a little prayer. How else could I communicate with my body besides putting speech inside it?

Anyway, my appointment came and went. No one called to give me my results, and when I checked the online portal, I noticed that my doctor, who hadn’t even seen me directly, who was in the habit of using the euphemisms “number one” and “number two,” had left me a message. “Hi mya—everything is looking great : ) No need for a follow-up at this time.” I checked the numbers. My B12 levels had surpassed the minimum threshold; they had even surpassed the desirable range. The pills had worked, and they had worked too well. The data, my data, had been contaminated: the language on the screen had nothing to do with what was happening in my body. And yet the doctor depended upon that language to approach my body, even though my body had been in front of her, trying to announce its problems.

I wanted the numbers to go down. Once they went down, I could prove to my doctor that they needed desperately to go back up. And so, I stopped taking the supplements, and the B12 slowly left me, detaching itself from my vocabulary until it became an abstract problem, a nonurgent problem, a random string of letters and numbers whose meaning was obscure to me, and which was no longer a metaphor for happiness.

 

Maya Binyam is a contributing editor of the Review. Her novel, Hangman, will be published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux in August.

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